Chase Burning - by Alex Schaefer
Chase Bank is about to explode......
this is just too funny...
"i did not intend to develop this as a tactic against debt collector calls. It arose spontaneously from some prank universe is playing.
Basically what has happened is that since Chase Bank took over (probably illegally, certainly without doing their real work) from WAMU bank, my mortgage payments have been going astray within their system. i mail them out as usual, regularly, and yet these last 3 or 4 payments have not made it into their system in a timely fashion (like that is my fault), and as a result, i have been receiving early morning phone calls from their 'debt collections debt'.
Now note, i am old, raspy, and get up early usually as a result of pain....so calling very early gets me at my peak, while the old wounds are still sharp, and the wits are eager for contention just as a distraction until tea is ready.
It should come as no surprise then, that confronted early in the AM with the statement that 'this call is being recorded for debt collection purposes' resulted in my reply that 'well, ok then, if you're going to record, so am i', and i trot off to get my handy little phone-to-pc recorder and fire up Audacity.
When i returned, i was informed that 'you have no right to record this call'....which of course, was JUST the wrong thing to say.
Instanly my response is, "EXCUSE ME?!? are you calling from Washington State? Do you know the laws in my STATE of residence regarding mutual assurance of documentation under contract law?!? Are you aware that you are performing contract work as an agent at this moment, and as such are acting for your principle and likely have the authority from your principle to alter contracts?! If so, you are modifying a contract, and if you are recording toward the purpose of validating contract alterations, then under the REVISED CODES of WASHINGTON, and the Uniform Commerical Code, i also have the RIGHT to a copy of any and all contract alterations!".....
http://www.halfpasthuman.com/chase_bank_fuckers.html
and part two: http://www.halfpasthuman.com/chase_b...part_deux.html