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As long as I can remember I was always ill more than well.
The hospital was my 'home away from home' as a child.
As an adult - pain and chronic illness(es) were simply my 'norm'.
It got worse, and worse and worse.
Depression ?
Doesn't even come CLOSE to describing how grim everything felt to me.
Living each day was just a renewal of pain and the only wonderment I had was something like-> 'Gee, what NEW pain or manifestation of illness will I see/feel today ?'.
A quick summary of what 'being me' meant:
At ~54 years old, relatively trim (for 54), free of any/all substance use/abuse, a
pretty well detoxified diet/lifestyle, using only a few nutritional supplements, and->
It hurt ALOT just to walk; Stairs were my personal hell (and falling down them became a too-regular item on my personal menu).
I wanted to somehow detach both arms just so I could somehow sleep with less pain.
I had palpable lumps growing painfully inside my gut in several places.
The ONLY time I had each day that was relatively pain-free was IF sound sleep was
attainable - but mostly it wasn't - and when it happened I was awakened by...you
guessed it; pain.
If I'd been severely overweight, neglectful, abusive to my body, etc. - then my lack of
health would have made sense...but all I got was WORSE, and I wanted to know WHY !!!?
Something triggered my thinking (perhaps I'll remember it and share that too...) and
suddenly I had it, the ROOT cause...of course-> how STUPID I've been.
The only possible, logical explanation fits like a tight glove:
I was born ill - to a severely ill mother - who then died when I was 11.
That wasn't enough though - there's LOADS more - and the KEY FACT is that this illness 'HAD' me before I was even decanted from the womb - a pre-birth total nightmare.
A 'gift' given me by an unknowing mother who, severely mis-diagnosed ALL her life, then died from what nobody EVER had a clue about.
And it's ALL about fungus/mold.
Think about this for a second if you will:
What does most mold like best ?
Dark, warm, moist things/places where the mold can eat and reproduce unrestrictedly.
Funny...that about describes the insides of my very own body, doesn't it ?
Now add in the fact that I keep the body fed, and the body cleans and excretes wastes - and that would be something about like 'mold paradise' right ?
Bingo.
I was a walking mold incubator providing the very best, most optimal environment for
it, and...
It hurt like hell - pretty much every second of every day.
I still wonder if anyone else has been going through similar sufferings - and I wonder
more if anyone might even like to know how, minus doctors, just about dead broke from being sick so badly for so long and unable to work much at all...I have been able to figure this out and start the process of healing - and hopefully also reversing the
damage this has caused in my body and life.
Seems to me that it'd be important to 'get the word out', but nobody seems to believe
me, and even folks who proclaim intense interests in healing have glazed over and none have expressed any further interest in learning what I've learned.
I've posted all around - joined groups - had a discussion board/forum - pretty much
have done anything I could think of to try and share what I consider to be utterly
priceless info...and...nada.
Maybe posting here will help to get this message out...we'll see.
I have learned so very much, and gotten incredibly better too.
The only thing that would make that even more priceless would be if others could benefit from my learning somehow !!!
The hospital was my 'home away from home' as a child.
As an adult - pain and chronic illness(es) were simply my 'norm'.
It got worse, and worse and worse.
Depression ?
Doesn't even come CLOSE to describing how grim everything felt to me.
Living each day was just a renewal of pain and the only wonderment I had was something like-> 'Gee, what NEW pain or manifestation of illness will I see/feel today ?'.
A quick summary of what 'being me' meant:
At ~54 years old, relatively trim (for 54), free of any/all substance use/abuse, a
pretty well detoxified diet/lifestyle, using only a few nutritional supplements, and->
It hurt ALOT just to walk; Stairs were my personal hell (and falling down them became a too-regular item on my personal menu).
I wanted to somehow detach both arms just so I could somehow sleep with less pain.
I had palpable lumps growing painfully inside my gut in several places.
The ONLY time I had each day that was relatively pain-free was IF sound sleep was
attainable - but mostly it wasn't - and when it happened I was awakened by...you
guessed it; pain.
If I'd been severely overweight, neglectful, abusive to my body, etc. - then my lack of
health would have made sense...but all I got was WORSE, and I wanted to know WHY !!!?
Something triggered my thinking (perhaps I'll remember it and share that too...) and
suddenly I had it, the ROOT cause...of course-> how STUPID I've been.
The only possible, logical explanation fits like a tight glove:
I was born ill - to a severely ill mother - who then died when I was 11.
That wasn't enough though - there's LOADS more - and the KEY FACT is that this illness 'HAD' me before I was even decanted from the womb - a pre-birth total nightmare.
A 'gift' given me by an unknowing mother who, severely mis-diagnosed ALL her life, then died from what nobody EVER had a clue about.
And it's ALL about fungus/mold.
Think about this for a second if you will:
What does most mold like best ?
Dark, warm, moist things/places where the mold can eat and reproduce unrestrictedly.
Funny...that about describes the insides of my very own body, doesn't it ?
Now add in the fact that I keep the body fed, and the body cleans and excretes wastes - and that would be something about like 'mold paradise' right ?
Bingo.
I was a walking mold incubator providing the very best, most optimal environment for
it, and...
It hurt like hell - pretty much every second of every day.
I still wonder if anyone else has been going through similar sufferings - and I wonder
more if anyone might even like to know how, minus doctors, just about dead broke from being sick so badly for so long and unable to work much at all...I have been able to figure this out and start the process of healing - and hopefully also reversing the
damage this has caused in my body and life.
Seems to me that it'd be important to 'get the word out', but nobody seems to believe
me, and even folks who proclaim intense interests in healing have glazed over and none have expressed any further interest in learning what I've learned.
I've posted all around - joined groups - had a discussion board/forum - pretty much
have done anything I could think of to try and share what I consider to be utterly
priceless info...and...nada.
Maybe posting here will help to get this message out...we'll see.
I have learned so very much, and gotten incredibly better too.
The only thing that would make that even more priceless would be if others could benefit from my learning somehow !!!